Calling in sick to work

Since we’re at the end of the year, getting a time off request approved is more difficult than ever. If you’re going to get away from the office you’ll need a damn good reason. You’ll need to come up with a story that will render them speechless and keep them guessing. Give this a try and see if it works.

While out hiking in the majesty and grandeur of the Carolinas, I was involved in a series of unfortunate events. First, while on the way to my hike, I had to rescue a small child from an overturned car. The car just happened to be in a 100ft ravine and I had to use nothing but an iPhone sync cable, duct tape and my own shoe laces to correct the situation. With that slight problem behind me, I got to the trailhead only to find a small forest fire, which I proceeded to put out using the water bottle and backpack I brought with me. Once the Park Rangers happened on the scene I was able to continue with the planned hike. However, my peace and tranquility was short lived as I was pounded upon by a bear and was mauled severely. In the ensuing scuffle my leg was dislodged from my body, but I was not deterred. I chased the bear down using my good and still attached leg. He evaded me for several miles, but not only did I manage to catch up with him, but I thrashed him soundly, retrieved my leg and reattached it using the extra duct tape I keep with me at all times and some pine needles. I was ready to continue my hike when it started to rain. Not just regular rain, but freezing rain. This caused me to fall down the mountain for 15 miles. Head over heels no less. Although shaken and slightly disoriented I managed to make my way back to the parking lot using the built in GPS of my phone. Good thing I keep an extra antennae in my backpack so I always have good reception. Needless to say it was all up hill and with the injuries to my leg it was tough going. I didn’t sleep well last night so I’m going to the grocery store for a couple of aspirin, some gauze pads and some Band-Aids. Don’t worry about me though, I’ll be in to work tomorrow.

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